


Quod Cattus Respice In Trahebatur

by AriRashkae



Series: RvB Fluff Week [3]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Forcible Cuddling, Gen, Involuntary shapeshifting, RvB Fluff Week, accidental intoxication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 18:26:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11319099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AriRashkae/pseuds/AriRashkae
Summary: Okay, prompt for literal fluff. Felix-is-a-cat AU, only now BOTH of them are cats. Maybe something where they are totally just cuddling up for warmth... Bonus points for Locus cleaning Felix (G-rated) who reluctantly sits and positively does not enjoy it of course





	Quod Cattus Respice In Trahebatur

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Izzybutt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Izzybutt/gifts).



> I almost didn’t get to this because I kept getting called away. But! I am here! Have an AU scene to FQPRCC for Fluff Week! (Also, Google Translate is the best when doing Red vs Blue XD. “Look what the cat dragged in”, which interestingly is _different_ than “look what the cat dragged in”)

_'Oh, that is not fucking_ fair _.'_ Felix's tail lashed angrily as he pulled back on Locus' undersuit, helping the enormous and _fluffy_ cat that was his partner to extricate himself from the jumble of armor.

Locus twisted to look himself over. _'This does seem to be a problem.'_ Somehow, Locus managed to come out of this twice Felix’s size.

They had almost made it to the door with the crate holding Felix's armor. Unfortunately, 'almost' only counted with horseshoes, hand grenades, and tactical nukes, and Locus had been caught in the same beam of light that had enveloped Felix when he'd tried to circle the room.

 _'No, I mean even as a goddamned cat you're still a beast,'_ Felix groused. Locus just shot him an unimpressed look and concentrated on standing up properly.

The two of them picked their way out of the room, trying to hurry while navigating the unfamiliar mechanics of having four legs. _'Technically, that is the definition of a cat.'_ They stopped just outside the door and turned back. Their armor lay a few yards inside. They had come so close, and yet nowhere near close enough.

 _'Oh, go fuck yourself. You know what I mean.'_ Felix yawned, showing off every single one of his nice sharp teeth. Locus remained unimpressed. He turned away and sat down just outside the doorway, studying what he could see. As if that would give them any clues as to what the fuck had just happened or more importantly _how to fucking fix it._ Felix concentrated instead on coordination and processing the flood of information his new senses were bringing in.

 _'I think we can safely assume that the researchers also ran afoul of this device.'_ Neither of them even bothered questioning how they were still able to communicate so effortlessly. After so long having each other's backs, sometimes Felix was amazed they even _needed_ to speak to each other any more. Not that Felix was taking a vow of silence any time soon, mind. Irritating Locus was one of the things that got him out of bed in the morning.

 _'Gee, you think?'_ Felix took another few careful steps. Embolden by the lack of wobbling, he tried a few small hops. The more he moved, the more natural this new body felt. Twitch an ear _this_ way to catch noises over _there_ , curl the tail _just so_ to help counterbalance a jump ...

He stopped and cocked his head. Locus was still peering into That Fucking Room, the tip of his ridiculously fluffy tail curled around his feet and his whiskers twitching slightly. Felix tilted his head the other way, gauging the distance.

He crouched and crept forward, stepping carefully to be as quiet as possible. When he was fairly confident he could make the leap, he pounced–

–and ended up slammed to the floor as Locus whirled and smacked him, pinning him down with his own body weight. _'I was wondering how long before you tried something like that.'_

Felix tried to twist free, but Locus was easily double his size, even before accounting for that coat. He huffed. _'Oh, come on. Like you aren't tempted to try.'_

Locus didn't answer, but he did let Felix up, cuffing him lightly in the head. _'We should at least attempt to access the records. Hopefully the team was able to find_ something _that will help us before they disappeared.'_

 _'With our luck, they'll be locked by fingerprints or retinal scans or some ridiculous key one of them made up.'_

_'Which is why we were given the decryption overrides.'_

They threaded their way through the cleared rooms, eager to find the exit as quickly as possible. Neither one of them liked leaving their armor and weapons behind, but there was very little they could do about it.

The sun was almost too bright, the jungle around them too loud, when they finally made it out of the temple complex. _'I don't know if you've looked at yourself in the last few minutes, Locs, but I don't exactly think either of us is going to be flying the Pelican over there any time soon. And carrying any of those pads through this mess is going to be exactly_ easy _.'_

After a few moments of getting their new bearings, they struck out for their Pelican. _'We will figure something out. We are still alive, and more importantly, still_ aware _of who we are, regardless of what we look like.'_

Neither of them needed to say it, but they both heard the 'for now' at the end of that statement.

 _'Fiiiine. Be the optimist.'_ Felix trotted ahead, pausing every so often to sniff a plant or try to pounce on a bug. He had just stopped, staring at a particularly lurid flower and trying to remember if he'd noticed it on the way down, when Locus barreled into him. They tumbled down the path, Felix yowling in indignation as he clawed for purchase to stop them.

 _'_ Be quiet _,'_ Locus snarled. He whirled to face the flower and backed up slightly, still snarling, ears pinned back and poofed out to look even larger. It would have been hysterical, if not for the fact that the flower was now turned towards them – and there was a splotch of pollen on Locus' face.

Felix caught himself flattening to the ground in fear and shook himself _'What the fuck was_ that?'

 _'I don't know, but it looked like it had been leaning towards you and that can't have been good.'_ Locus kept backing up until he was even with Felix. _'Did any of it hit you?'_

Felix twisted, managing to roll completely over as he checked. _'I'm clean. You get hit any worse than that?'_

 _'I don't think so.'_ Locus shook his head and took a few swipes at it with one paw. _'But I did inhale some of ... some of it...'_ He trailed off, shaking his head again. 

_'Locus?'_ Felix crouched again, unsure if his partner was going to go berserk, drop dead, or–

–or start ... laughing? 

_'I’mmm good.'_ Locus swayed on his feet, before flopping down on one side, blinking up at Felix.

Felix's ears flattened almost immediately. _'...Locus?'_

His partner twisted around, ending up almost flat on his back and curved in a semi circle. _'Yyeesss?'_

Felix gaped at him. Then he realized that rumbling noise was Locus _purring_. _'Holy fuck, are you_ high?'

 _'Am I?'_ Locus blinked up at him, tail swishing lazily. He took a swipe at the empty air above him.

 _'Oh fuck me,'_ Felix breathed. As if this day couldn't get any worse – or any more ridiculous. Now not only were the two of them currently fucking _cats_ , but his stoic and taciturn partner was currently rolling in the grass and batting at imaginary butterflies or some bullshit like that.

He had to smack Locus a few times to get his attention, but eventually he focused on him. _'Get up, asshole. You can't stay here. With our luck, you'll get stepped on before we change back.'_

_'...Felix?'_

_'Oh, Jesus Christ, get on your fucking feet and let's_ go.' Felix practically had to shove Locus into sitting up, but once he was there, momentum or what-fucking-ever took over and he stumbled to his feet. And stopped there.

It probably looked ridiculous, but Felix face-palmed – face-pawed? – anyway. He bumped his shoulder against Locus'. _'This way, asshole.'_ He started back down the path to the ship; Locus trotted after him, purring happily and his tail straight up like a banner. 

_'Fuck you, fuck this place, fuck this job,'_ Felix grumbled. At least he could still manage the keypad for the Pelican. That meant he could herd Locus into the fucking ship – _'goddamn it,_ this _way'_ – and lock the ramp behind them. He silently apologized – something he would never do out loud – for every time Locus had hauled his drunk ass back to wherever they were holed up. If he had been half as bad as this, then Locus had the patience of a goddamned saint.

Of course, now they had to figure out what the fuck to do _next_. Hopefully this shit would wear off soon; Locus stoned and happy was somehow even creepier than he was sober. Probably because it was just so _wrong_.

_'We're probably going to have to eat the MREs cold until we get our bodies back. I don't trust something won't fuck up if we try to heat them and–'_

For the second time in less than as many hours, Felix found himself squashed beneath his partner. _This_ time, however, Locus was purring like a goddamned chainsaw and _nuzzling the back of his neck_ what the fuck? _'You worry too much.'_

 _'Yeah, because that's usually_ your _job, asshole. Now let me_ up _.'_

Instead Locus, fucker that he was, just sprawled even more. _'No. 'M comfortable.'_

 _'Locus, I swear to fucking_ God _–'_

Felix's threat was cut short by the swipe of a rough tongue across his head. He froze in complete shock. Locus repeated the motion, somehow managing to purr even _louder_ in the process.

 _'Locus,'_ Felix hissed. _'What the fuck do you think you're_ doing?'

Locus just shifted until he was less sprawled and more curled up across Felix's back. _'Quiet. You're too tense. Need t' relax.'_ He continued fucking _grooming_ him, and started kneading his shoulders for good measure.

Almost against his will, Felix _did_ feel himself start to relax, between the purring and the kneading. _'So, what? Are you suggesting a catnap?'_ No _way_ was he going near the _grooming_ with a ten-foot pole. If he was lucky, Locus wouldn't remember any of this when he sobered up.

 _'Yes. Sleep. Tha' would be good.'_ Locus gave a jaw-cracking yawn, and Felix couldn't help mirroring him. He huffed a sigh as Locus dropped his head on top of Felix's own. That actually did sound pretty good right now. 

_'... you know you're an asshole, right?'_

Locus put one paw over Felix's mouth. _'Shhh. Sleep now. Argue later.'_ He nuzzled the back of Felix's head and dropped off almost immediately.

Of _course_ the fucker would snore _right_ in his ear. Asshole.

**Author's Note:**

> ...do you have any idea how long I've waited for a chance to get Locus to be all goofy? XD
> 
> Originally posted [here](http://arirashkae.tumblr.com/post/162254412021/okay-prompt-for-literal-fluff-felix-is-a-cat-au)


End file.
